I’m writing this story as it comes to me, and posting it here, so it’s probably not going to be very polished. Fun experiment though.

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Birthdays never meant much to me. Well, that’s not entirely true. I am sort of an only child, so I got great presents and lots of attention back when I was a kid. Lately, though, I haven’t had much to be excited about. I’d say the past 5 years or so have passed me by without the slightest hint of circumstance. Today I turned 30.

I counted spots on the ceiling as my alarm clock nagged me to my senses. I think I had been dreaming about the end of the world. What a relief. I had an early appointment with the immortality people. It’s not really my style to wake up before noon but I wanted to make sure I could get in and out of there before … I don’t know. Maybe I had hoped I’d still be groggy and wouldn’t pay attention to what was actually happening. I don’t like to think about it very much. Naturally, it’s been on my mind constantly. Anyway, I had some serious, pathetic self destruction to tend to later on in the day… “Let’s get this over with,” I said to nobody.

I know how ridiculous that must sound, but let me assure you that people used to do that. I’ve read lots of old books and listened to lots of old music. I even found some old cookbooks. I’m sort of an authority on stupid, reckless behavior. Relatively speaking, of course. As far as I can tell, the human propensity for risk taking was all but obliterated when they figured out this treatment. I had to work pretty hard to learn what I have; it’s as if learning stuff is dangerous in itself.

Obviously, the world we know today is vastly different from the one left behind by our past, mortal selves. And it’s been that way for a while. But as I stared myself down in the mirror, I still couldn’t wrap my head around what I was about to do. Weird notions wafted through my skull like that weird, pleasant stench coming from my sink. (I could never figure out what that was.) I pushed everything aside and thought about the future. “Tonight,” I said to myself. I found a guy who could get me anything I need: speakers with no volume limits, a trampoline, beer, even pizza. Yes. “Tonight I’m going to fucking party.”